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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Assumptions

We often make assumptions in a situation or within our relationships, to which we are always trying to rationalise our assumptions. Trying to justify our thoughts Usually these assumptions do not have any valid truth in them.
Such as in gossiping about another, people will gossip about another which could have no truth in it and could be quite damaging. Yet, people do it daily. Without any verification of proof.

When we make assumptions it feels safe ... the mind needs satisfying.

In situations we can assume something within our private thought world ... creating a story that satisfies the needs of the mind for reason depending on the situation it could make us feel safe ... and then in other situations it can hurl a mountain of illusions out at you.
This reason we have made by our assumption may not have any validity ... not even truth as long as we feel safe.
We assume that everyone sees things in the same way as we do. That is not so.
People cannot read your mind, nor can you ... although you may assume that they do or that you do.

Perhaps if, at the point of this assuming, we must learn to be flexible ... learn to question the assumption and stop creating a rational answer. Yet, to us an answer is needed even if this answer is not truth to satisfy the mind.

In relationships we tend to jump to a barage of conclusions and within these conclusions we create a barrier of illusions. Thus, a relationship could collapse because of it, because of the misunderstanding. It is better to enquire ... to ask I feel. Do not try to change the person nor allow them to change you. You change because you choose to. In love people have to accept each other for who they are.

We are also in the habbit of making assumptions about ourselves, by underestimating or overestimating ourselves then we find we are not able to fulfil a task. Do not say YES when you really mean NO this will only cause resentments.

How often have we all done this ... said YES when really wanted to say NO. I hold my hands up to that. We say this because we assume the other will be hurt or annoyed because we say NO. More often than not the true answer allows you freedom and also the chance for the other person to make arrangements with someone else that would be quite happy to say YES.

Assumptions ... Clarify with a question ... perhaps it will cause less pain all round.

Quotes:

Never assume the obvious is true. William Safire

We must never assume that which is incapable of proof. G. H. Lewes

Pride is increased by ignorance; those assume the most who know the least. John Gay

You must stick to your conviction, but be ready to abandon your assumptions. Denis Waitley

What a man believes may be ascertained, not from his creed, but from the assumptions on which he habitually acts. George Bernard Shaw

The criterion of simplicity requires that the minimum number of assumptions be postulated. Albert Low

It is always safe to assume that people are more subtle and less sensitive than they seem. Eric Hoffer

The invalid assumption that correlation implies cause is probably among the two or three most serious and common errors of human reasoning
Stephen Jay Gould quotes


Assumption is the mother of the screw-up
Angelo Donghia quotes

10 comments:

Lorna said...

Gosh, trinitystar, how true! I have gotten myself in more trouble from assuming something! :-) hugsssssssssss

QUASAR9 said...

Well some assumptions can be made with a certain degree of certainty

But I guess you mean about assumptious people make on who other people are, how they will act or respond and what we deserve

That is often ignorance on our part of the unpredictability of women (and men) lol! - and more to do with our expectations of what we may hope for or would like to think how things should be.

I mean I like life to be a bed of roses, but I assume to run into some thorns.
Happy Valentines!
i'll be back to read the rest of the post when (and if) more appears

Rob said...

Excellent ideas here. Some good quotes too...last quote is brilliant.
Thanks for making these ideas so clear.

Jeeps said...

Hiya,

I'm fine, thanks for checking up on me ^^ I didn't notice any activity in Imemine's blog.. but i hope so to. Who knows, right?

Btw, for me your post might be appropriate. How is it that girls/women always give a different kind of advice than men do?

trinitystar said...

Happy Valentines to you all.

Quasar :o)

Rob :o)

Jeeps :o)
Incidently Jeeps in answer to your question ... we are all individuals and most women like to give practical ... loving ... and wise
advice. :o)

Lorna a
>-----<---<@ 4U

shammu.... said...

that was a very thoughtful post! am with u on tellin YES even when i really wanna say NO! am changing though, trying to learn to live for me too!
Take care!!

trinitystar said...

Great Shammu ... and it is not about not caring for the person when you say No ... it is actually caring ...
Thank you for your valid comment.
hugs for you

a >------<---<@ for you.

Janice Thomson said...

A great post Trinitystar! Every experience good or bad should be greeted with new eyes.

ann said...

ah, so you ask the question...

when the answer is "I don't know" over and over again you can't help but assume even though it's the last thing you want to hear... sadly eventually you hear and you were right, it is what you assumed all along...

ari4u said...

well written post! Every word weighs a lot. The music on the other posts was great. How have you been?