We often make assumptions in a situation or within our relationships, to which we are always trying to rationalise our assumptions. Trying to justify our thoughts Usually these assumptions do not have any valid truth in them.
Such as in gossiping about another, people will gossip about another which could have no truth in it and could be quite damaging. Yet, people do it daily. Without any verification of proof.
When we make assumptions it feels safe ... the mind needs satisfying.
In situations we can assume something within our private thought world ... creating a story that satisfies the needs of the mind for reason depending on the situation it could make us feel safe ... and then in other situations it can hurl a mountain of illusions out at you.
This reason we have made by our assumption may not have any validity ... not even truth as long as we feel safe.
We assume that everyone sees things in the same way as we do. That is not so.
People cannot read your mind, nor can you ... although you may assume that they do or that you do.
Perhaps if, at the point of this assuming, we must learn to be flexible ... learn to question the assumption and stop creating a rational answer. Yet, to us an answer is needed even if this answer is not truth to satisfy the mind.
In relationships we tend to jump to a barage of conclusions and within these conclusions we create a barrier of illusions. Thus, a relationship could collapse because of it, because of the misunderstanding. It is better to enquire ... to ask I feel. Do not try to change the person nor allow them to change you. You change because you choose to. In love people have to accept each other for who they are.
We are also in the habbit of making assumptions about ourselves, by underestimating or overestimating ourselves then we find we are not able to fulfil a task. Do not say YES when you really mean NO this will only cause resentments.
How often have we all done this ... said YES when really wanted to say NO. I hold my hands up to that. We say this because we assume the other will be hurt or annoyed because we say NO. More often than not the true answer allows you freedom and also the chance for the other person to make arrangements with someone else that would be quite happy to say YES.
Assumptions ... Clarify with a question ... perhaps it will cause less pain all round.
Quotes:
Never assume the obvious is true. William SafireWe must never assume that which is incapable of proof. G. H. LewesPride is increased by ignorance; those assume the most who know the least. John GayYou must stick to your conviction, but be ready to abandon your assumptions. Denis WaitleyWhat a man believes may be ascertained, not from his creed, but from the assumptions on which he habitually acts. George Bernard Shaw The criterion of simplicity requires that the minimum number of assumptions be postulated. Albert LowIt is always safe to assume that people are more subtle and less sensitive than they seem. Eric Hoffer“
The invalid assumption that correlation implies cause is probably among the two or three most serious and common errors of human reasoning”
Stephen Jay Gould quotes“
Assumption is the mother of the screw-up”
Angelo Donghia quotes