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Sunday, June 24, 2007

two attempts at a haiku

trying a haiku ... any suggestions on improvement would be welcomed from all you haiku enthusiasts

yellow buttercup

smiling radiantly back at you

be you young or old

danelion clock face
blowing in the breeze of life
puff, puff and its gone

Have a wonderful weekend everyone. as the line on the second haiku attempt says.


QUASAR9 said...

Wow Trinity,
been catching up with all the Magic oozing from your last few posts.
Went to away for a week, well almost two - flew back last night from sweltering Seville, and awoke in a cool drizzly Cambridge.
Hope your Sunday is refreshening too

floots said...

liked them both
at least dandelion clocks don't have an audible tick :)

Carol said...

Keep up with the haiku. Dandelions do symbolize the beauty of youth and old age.

trinitystar said...

Thanks Floots and Carol ... Quasar
thought I would give haiku a whirl.
Its not as easy as one thinks. :o)

Sorry the person that visited your comment did not reach me ... should you return do let me know your flickr page.

thank you all for your visits.

polona said...

nice tries... especially like the second one :)

perhaps one thing: 'show don't tell' principle is important in haiku - do not write about feelings/emotions/ideas; use images to convey them

trinitystar said...

Thanks on that Polona ... images as in the photographs ... mmmmmmmm.
It get harder still ... have to really work hard on that.

Pat Paulk said...

I think you've made an excellent first attempt. Keep 'em coming!!

gautami tripathy said...

I like both the haiku. They look fine to me.

Anonymous said...

Glad Im still here to breath these words ...Thanks ..Nasra

Janice Thomson said...

Wasn't sure if I had commented or not so I'll squeak this one by. Your haiku are great Trinitystar. Love the blue flowers in the last pic...what are they? Always enjoy your photos!

trinitystar said...

Thank you for you valid comments here and at Rudi's blog ...

The small blue flowers are woodland Bluebells. :o)